Résumé Writing Tips – Double Check Your Spelling #2

In my post from yesterday I discussed the importance of avoiding spelling mistakes, typos, and errors in grammar on your résumé. But sometimes those little booboos can be pretty darn entertaining. The folks over at JobMob.co.il have posted a list of the most hilarious résumé blunders ever. Here are a handful that are guaranteed to brighten your day. Goes to show you the damage a poorly written and proofread résumé can do to your chances of finding work. Enjoy:

  • “Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse”
  • Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians”
  • “2001 summer Voluntary work for taking care of the elderly and vegetable people”
  • “I’m intrested to here more about that. I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer”
  • “I am about to enrol on a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University. I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success.”
  • “Time is very valuable and it should be always used to achieve optimum results and I believe it should not be played around with”
  • “I belive that weakness is the first level of strength, given the right attitude and driving force. My school advised me to fix my punctuality…”
  • “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
  • “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
  • “Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
  • “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
  • “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
  • “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”
  • “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
  • “You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.”
  • “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”
  • “Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”
  • “Marital status: often. Children: various.”
  • “I am loyal to my employer at all costs..Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.”
  • “Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”

Okay, so who’s to say some of them aren’t fabricated. But who cares, they’re hilarious! And more importantly, they make a point. In fact, they hammer you over the head with it. Check your work. Check it twice. Get others to re-check it for you. It’s definitely worth your time. It’s also worth your time to check out the rest of these hilarious entries. You can view them all here.

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Toronto Hydro Job

Back in late June a close friend tried to get me into Toronto Hydro as a Material Analyst. It’s been well over a month now and still no call back for an interview. I think it’s pretty safe to say they’re taking a pass on me. Too bad – that would have been a great job with super benefits. I have no doubt I would have shined there. The problem is, they likely had a number of applicants with direct Material Analyst experience. It’s unrealistic to expect them to pass on people with experience and education in that field for someone who can only offer transferable skills and a solid work ethic. When I was hiring people I would always shortlist those who had direct experience over those with more generalized skills. I probably missed out on some quality hires myself, but when you’re dealing with dozens of résumés you don’t have time to vet every one of them. Your shortlist is created based on those with résumés that closely match what you’re looking for. That’s why it’s so important to tweak your résumé and cover letter to each position you are applying for. Sending a generic résumé just won’t cut it in this day and age. HR people are busy and just don’t have the time to give you a chance. Me, I spend a lot of time working on my résumé and cover letter for each job I apply to. It’s onerous, but necessary, if you want to get back to work.